spandexisyouth | Twenty-second Lotus

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Twenty-second Lotus - blooming twice

[There are a lot of spots on the page where his pen has rested as he tries to figure out what to write and how. Then his familiar handwriting starts.]

I do not know how to apologize since I still do not know what happened but I am sorry and I am back! And I would like to see everyone who wants to see me.

[There's more pen resting.]

I have a brother now! It is not worth dying over. But now I have one, and I wanted one. So that is good at least.

I think that I need to figure out how to alter the direction of my kick in mid-air. Does anyone have suggestions?

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I know that you did not. But I still missed you very much. And we were worried that you would not come back and...

Please never die again?

I will do everything I can to keep from dying on you again. I promise.

And if something happens despite my efforts, I also promise to come back to you.

I will not leave you alone or behind, Lotus.

Okay. [The single word is fuzzy as tears drip onto the page, blurring the ink.]

[And Youth is there, at the house, opening the door and braced for a violent hug. He's wrestling with guilt and gladness that Lotus is still there, but it can be pushed away. His son is here.]

Lotus? Bell?

[It's a good thing that Youth's feet are firmly braced against the floor, because as soon as the door opens, Lotus launches himself at his father. There are tears staining his cheeks and dark rings under his eyes from where he hasn't been sleeping well, but his face is only visible for a moment before it's buried against Youth's chest.]

I missed you. [The words are muffled, and Lotus clings tighter.]

[It only takes that instant to see how much he's hurt his son, and Youth regrets it very much. He hugs Lotus so tightly back, just holding his son and trying to convey his love through his arms.]

I am sorry. I did not mean to give you opportunity to miss me.

[The boy doesn't answer at first, just clinging to Youth as if that will ensure that his father will stay. All of the fear that has been whispering in his mind every moment since Bell woke him up floods out in a rush, and the warmth of his tears soak through Youth's shirt.]

I was so scared that you would not come back.

[Bell hears the commotion and comes to his bedroom door. Not wanting to intrude upon the father-son moment, he just watches, smiling as much as Bell does smile, eye not leaving Youth. From behind him in the bedroom, Tenzou comes barreling out to join the love, trying to pounce on Youth and lick him and Lotus. Finally, under the pretense of fetching his dog, Bell comes over.]

...Nice way to make a dramatic entrance.

[He runs his fingers through Lotus' hair, trying to soothe his son.]

I am sorry. I will not stay away from you.

[Catching sight of movement, he sees Bell standing there just as Tenzou decided to welcome him home. Ew. Now there was slobber involved too. But Youth smiled up at Bell, getting to his feet without letting go of Lotus.]

Thank you. Though I do not think Derrick agrees.

Edited 2010-06-14 22:51 (UTC)

[Lotus just nods. He eventually lets go of Youth, but he hangs close against his father's side, needing the simple reassurance of him being there.]

Are you okay?

[Bell shrugs, taking hold of Tenzou's collar and holding the dog back. At least it keeps his hands busy. It would be neither cool nor aloof to hug Youth like he's sort of tempted to do. Instead, he plays it casual.]

The mantwins are prone to overreacting.

[At Lotus' question, Bell's watching Youth a little more closely. How IS Youth doing? ...Does he remember the person he was with when he died? If so, what does he think of that?]

[Youth gives Lotus a gentle smile.]

I am. I am very much okay.

[As he looks over at Bell he keeps himself from being disappointed. Of course Bell wouldn't show any reaction to him being back.]

I may have attacked Derrick on accident. I do not think it is overreacting. But I do not think he is upset, either.

[He can tell he's being watched, but he doesn't know what for, doesn't know what to do.]

Hi? I am me.

[Lotus feels a wave of relief at that, and he nods. It's almost hard to believe that Youth is back, with how much Lotus wanted it, and it's evident by how closely he's staying against his father's side that it'll take a bit for Lotus to not assume Youth will disappear the moment he looks away.]

You attacked Derrick?

[Youth looks ok, and the answer seems to be fully honest, so Bell is relived. He'll ask Youth more later, when the kid isn't around to hear.]

Do tell. I'm sure that's a good story. ...Though maybe you should have a seat first. [Youth was still fairly gooey. Maybe he should lay down a towel first.]

[Bell hadn't realized his staring was so obvious. He looks away awkwardly.] Hi. I should hope you're you.

[He looks a bit sheepish at the question.]

I needed to get out of the cocoon quickly. I did not know what had happened.

[With a nod, Youth takes a seat on the couch, making sure not to rest his head against the back of it. The goo did not like to come out of hair, it seemed. Having Bell look away stung a little. Youth didn't know if he'd hurt Bell a lot by dying, or if Bell had found something better. Though he was here with Lotus, which gave weight to the first option.]

It is a very short story. I launched out of the cocoon and... found Derrick.

[Lotus follows his father over to the couch, sitting down beside him. Youth is fine, he reminds himself. He's here, and he's fine.]

Did Derrick get hurt?

[Bell takes a seat at the far end of the couch, on the side of Youth opposite from Lotus and just listens for a while. It's good to hear Youth again; even if it was only about a week, it was a week of not knowing if Youth would even be back. And Youth's version of understatement is always amusing.]

At least if he was, Derrick will learn not to sleep on the job. [He pats Youth's knee.]

[Youth puts an arm around Lotus, bringing his son a bit closer.]

He will probably have a headache. And I spilled his coffee, so I owe him more. But it was not bad.

[Youth shrugs.]

He was not asleep. He was right there when I came back, and when Book arrived.

[He glances down at the hand on his knee, the first bit of contact he's had with Bell, and places his own hand over Bell's.]

But it is good not to sleep on the job, and it is good to be back.

[Lotus relaxes some at the contact, curling in against his father's side. He nods as he listens to his father, but the words don't seem as important as him being back.]

We missed you. [It's natural for him to say, with Bell there beside them, and he knows it's true.]

I'll bring him coffee the next time we work together. [Whenever that is. Bell considers asking for a couple days off to recover sleep, hopefully with Youth in bed with him.]

[As long as Book didn't write kiddy stories about Nannerpus, Bell could enjoy having another writer in the group. He would have to meet Youth's brother. Later. He was going to enjoy this fairly pleasant moment with Youth and Lotus right now. Bell gives a little squeeze to Youth's knee and then takes Youth's hand instead.]

Yeah. I guess we did.

I think he would appreciate that. [That was said to the offer of coffee. Derrick might completely forgive him, then. Though he probably wasn't really holding a grudge. That wasn't a very Derrick thing.]

[He'd been about to apologize again when Bell added his comment. Youth looked from one to the other, feeling relieved and loved. Leaning over, Youth first kissed Lotus' forehead and then Bell's hand.]

I did not mean to make you miss me. But I am very glad you both are still here for me to be with.

Just do not die again. [He knows that Youth didn't mean to, but still. Some of Lotus' unshakable faith in his father's strength has been lost. He knows now that he can lose Youth, and that disturbs him.]

[Bell nods and makes a mental note to remember coffee for Derrick next time.]

Better do what the kid says.

[Bell leans over Youth to speak to Lotus. At first, he is serious. They will have to keep tabs on each other.] And we'll just have to make sure he doesn't wander off again, right?

[He smiles behind the scarf and turns playful.] Genius suggested collars and leashes. What do you think? ...I also have handcuffs, if you prefer that alternative.

[Can he keep that promise? Though it's not like they'd expect him to be able to. They just want the reassurance.]

I will avoid dying again. You are both stuck with me.

[He smiled at the comment from Bell to Lotus, and started blushing faintly at the other.]

We should... test the options. To make sure.

[Lotus smiles and nods, feeling reassured by Youth's words.]

We will. Though I am not certain a leash would work. Dad is not Tenzou.

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